Sexualities

I’m glad we discussed the fluid relationship between Alice and Annabel Lee today. I would have brought up the masturbation scene right away, but didn’t because I knew it wasn’t in the assigned reading for today…

A few people talked about their concerns that sexualizing Alice and Annabel’s relationship demeaned the quality of their friendship– that girls can’t be very close friends without their sexualities coming into question. I understand that concern– we should never assume that intense same-sex friendships always equate to latent homosexuality. (And as Dr. Scanlon said, we shouldn’t assume that Alice and Annabel are lesbians, either.)

But I think that it’s difficult to say just where deep friendship ends and romantic love begins. According to my Psych of Sex textbook, most happily married couples cite the quality of their friendship as the most satisfying component of their relationship. I know that my mother always says my father is her best friend. So these intense same-sex friendships could easily turn to romantic love– it’s just that both parties are not always open to turning the friendship into something more, or they may not be aware of the nature of their feelings. Think about it. The same is true of opposite-sex friendships, but that doesn’t get questioned. There are thousands of stories out there where Girl A pines over her secret attraction to her friend Boy B, or vice versa. And lots of stories where an opposite-sex friendship turns into love– When Harry Met Sally, anyone? (I’d like to mention here that I believe that women and men can be truly platonic friends, but I don’t want to get too off-topic.)

Now I’d like to get back to the idea of fluid sexuality. I’m not sure how many other people in the class are familiar with that idea. I think most of us have heard of the Kinsey scale by now, but how about the Klein scale? It’s been developed as a more accurate model of sexuality, and it describes the dynamics that Dr. Scanlon talked about in class. It allows for many different facets of sexuality and for change over a lifetime– it’s possible to experience more or less hetero- or homosexual attraction at certain points in your life. I would encourage everyone to read about the Klein scale and to use it as a way of understanding Alice and Annabel’s sexualities.

The wonders of Youtube

For the presentation today, we saw part of an American propaganda video on Youtube about the internment of Japanese Americans during WWII.

It gave me the idea to search and see if there were any videos up that dealt more with Canada and Japanese Canadians. Unfortunately, I didn’t find any that are actually from that time period, but I did find part of a documentary on internment camps in Canada– you can see footage of the camps and hear several survivors recount their experiences. It’s worth watching.

Check it out here.

Silence

I connected to our discussion of Obasan’s silence today on a personal level. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m very, very quiet most of the time. Class participation usually brings my grade down. This is partly an extreme case of shyness, and partly contemplativeness– I like to sit and think about what others are saying for a long time before I make my contribution, or I’ll mull over a point for a few days before bringing it up.

And that’s why I really liked the idea of silence as a kind of power. I think it’s true, and has been true in my experience. I’ve had friends say about me what we said about silence in class: that someone who is usually quiet will get more attention when they do speak. A lot of times, when I speak up I make heads turn (literally) more than with other people, and I’ll get more laughs when I make a joke because people weren’t expecting me to speak. I enjoy the power of silence, for the most part, the “mysterious air” that friends say it gives me, and the pleasure of observing and listening while others discuss. I wonder how Obasan feels about her own silence– I’m guessing she is deliberate about it to a certain extent, the way I am, and I think that she is aware of the power it gives her. But it seems to be causing her pain as well; I think she has been silent for too long, and can no longer express what she wants to express in words.

It’s not always great, of course– that’s the view I think people are more familiar with. But I’m not going to provide a personal commentary on that because it would be disclosing too much information, and doesn’t have anything to do with Obasan anyway.

Language

I am enchanted by the style of The Gangster We Are All Looking For. There’s such a clarity to the writing style, and the form is poetic. It’s like flipping through a photo album, using the pictures inside to piece the story together. Good writers develop a story through significant, telling detail, and it’s the details– and only the details– that Thuy gives us.  I think the style is so effective with the content as well, the strange and ethereal fairy-tale quality to it.

Does anyone else love the way this book is written as much as I do?

Women Warriors

Since Wednesday, I’ve been mulling over the discussion we had in class on Brave Orchid and Fa Mu Lan. I admire the way Kingston characterizes Fa Mu Lan: as strong, as a warrior woman, but also as feminine. I don’t know how many times I’ve discussed strong female characters in fiction, and the problems that can arise in writing them. Often I find that a certain type of character emerges– one where I feel as if the author is trying too hard, like the author has consciously thought, “I am going to write a story about a strong female character.”

This type tends to be reductive, at least in my opinion. It’s become a cliché in fantasy literature: the literally strong girl who wants to be a knight, goes through trials, and eventually achieves the glory she desires. She is ultimately not that distinguishable from a male character because she plays the same role. Often she disguises herself as a man, and in some ways seems to become one; she takes on a male gender role. I want to emphasize here that I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being a tomboy or with a woman taking on a male gender role. I’m just saying that it can be reductive if that’s all we see of strong female characters: this idea that they almost have to become men to be strong.

I think Kingston’s characterization of Fa Mu Lan is admirable in the way she preserves Mu Lan’s femininity. She is physically strong, and she fights, but she is a different kind of fighter. She deviates from the norm in showing compassion to the villages she rides through. We do see a reversal of gender roles in her relationship with her husband, but Kingston doesn’t make it so simple. It doesn’t end there. Mu Lan is still the mother; she still engages in traditionally feminine activities: nurturing her child, picking flowers in a meadow. And although she steps down once her task is complete, she seems to welcome the break from the revenge quest that has consumed her life for so many years.

I think Kingston alters the tale of Mu Lan for the purpose of showing this feminine side to her, to show that she was both woman and warrior, mother and killer.

More Thoughts on Gender Roles

I said in class that my parents wanted me to be a girl, and I’d like to expand on that here. I think my parents were very even-handed about having children: I have an older brother, and they thought one boy and one girl would be ideal.

I grew up in an environment with somewhat flexible gender roles. On the one hand, I was always encouraged to pursue activities that aren’t traditionally feminine. For as long as I can remember, my dad has always spoke of my facility in math and science, and hoped that I would be an engineer; I had to break it to him that I was an English major kind of girl. And I remember playing indiscriminately with toys, always: I loved baby dolls and action figures, dollhouses and dump trucks , Matchbox cars and Playskool kitchens.

As for my brother, and how male gender roles worked in my family, I’m not sure about the ways he was encouraged. From what I can tell, he’s happy pursuing mostly masculine activities. He has the passion for math, science, and technology that I lack. But I have one unfortunate memory that has lingered with me, a story my parents tell often.

When he was about six or so, my brother had a friend once who was a bit unusual. He once insisted on playing with my set of Barbies because, he said, there was nothing else good to play with. My dad expressed confusion and a kind of disgust– and still does, when he tells this story– that a boy would want to play with dolls. It’s bothered me for years now. How is that fair? No one thought twice about me playing with any kind of toy I wanted to. In anthropology and sociology classes, we’ve discussed the idea that this is because males are more privileged– that is, when a girl acts like a boy, it’s a step up. She gains status and approval. But if a boy acts like a girl, that’s a step down. He’s weird, he’s a sissy, he must be gay. It isn’t right.

On a different note, I was surprised to learn that the preference for male children in China, to the point of killing or disposing of girls, has been going on for so long. I had assumed it was somewhat recent, something that came out of population control laws. It’s so completely illogical to me that this has been going on for a hundred years or more. You’d think that somewhere along the lines, someone would realize that biologically, that policy is not going to work out. I don’t understand it at all, and I don’t think I want to.

Thoughts on Power and Love

We discussed in class today whether or not Yuki gains a kind of power by essentially whoring herself out for Taro’s sake. I would agree that she does have power over Jack because of his infatuation– it all seems to be on his end– but it is, of course, a very limited kind of power. It’s power without respect. When Jack goes to introduce her to Taro (or so he thinks), he insists on picking her up and carrying her in his arms. He doesn’t let her walk by his side, like an equal, or even like a fellow human being. He continues to treat her like an object– maybe even like a favored pet, a lap dog.

Does the reader respect Yuki’s position? While I can understand her situation and pity her predicament, I can’t respect the way she marries for money and the way she manipulates Jack.

And what of Watanna herself, gaining power by exploiting and profiting on stereotypes of Asian culture– specifically, a culture which isn’t even hers? Math said in class that he doesn’t respect what Watanna has done; what about others?

On this note, the lack of respect that Yuki and Jack have for each other is the main reason why I can’t believe in their relationship. Not only does Jack objectify her, he violates her privacy. He thinks nothing of going through her possessions. It’s an odd juxtaposition with all his talk of how she’s an angel, how much he loves her– clearly, he doesn’t respect her. And if Yuki respected Jack, she wouldn’t manipulate him or lie to him. How can there be love without mututal trust and respect?

Yuki’s feelings about Jack are particularly hard for me to determine. For the majority of the text, she is always retreating and running away and shrinking back when he touches her.

Then, at almost the very end, there’s a shift. All of a sudden Yuki is discontent, and she goes back to Japan and finds Jack again. It’s not clear why she does this, or why she’s suddenly happy when she’s around him. If she’s fallen in love, we haven’t seen it happen: we’re only told that her feelings change, not how or why. Jack, too, claims he’ll change, that he’ll trust her and stop objectifying her, but we’re never given an opportunity to see any change in him, only his vow that he is going to change– and we’ve seen him break his vows in the past. Their professions of love at the end are empty and hollow because the reader cannot be convinced merely through telling– the reader has to be shown. But it doesn’t happen, and that’s where the happy ending fails.

Title

Huzzah!

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